Sunday, July 31, 2016

Trials of Fire

Sometimes you can learn from watching things around us. Chinese martial arts was learned by watching animals fighting with each other, such as cranes, tigers, monkeys, praying mantis and the such.
I have chickens, ever see roosters fight? I have 3 roosters and the neighbor has at least 3 as well and they have their rank in my yard by fighting to win their mates

It kind of goes like this:
One runs across the yard and then crows. Another usually the dominant roo runs over and either kicks the other or fluffs its plumage and looks as if it bows and the fight is on. The closest thing I have seen to this outside of nature was at a pow-wow during one of the dances. Wings down and head low and hoping in circles with an occasional kick. The kicks look similar to a round house kick from shoto-kan karate. I am guessing this is because of the spurs on the sides of their legs which is for defence and offense. They also will strike with their wings as well. You wouldn't think that something like a chicken feather would be good armor but it seems so.

Saturday, July 09, 2016

Our world is a miss

Our world is turning upside down and inside out, we are living in times of civil unrest and civil strife. Some of fight to make ends meet, some rub their fingers to the bone to just scrape by. Its hard living in these days full of stress of living and a world so full of anger. I wish I could turn it off but I can't. Visions of things that are happening all around the world haunt me in my sleep to the point that i don't get rest.. I want to run away sometimes but I know that from experience that it doesn't help anything whatsoever. The only thing to do is stand up, put my feet firmly in the sand and draw that line...

Thursday, June 23, 2016

Going back to basics... Sorta

Over these past few years I think I started to get lost along the way.. Even in the new venture we had taken in geting into a business... I kind of lost my vision with that and now starting to become a bit more clear.. The way kind of was pointed out, we met a lot of interesting people and was rather fun. But as those who are very close to me knows, time is precious to me and when things dont seem to work out I step back and re-evaluate the situation. Things went for a loop and I don't know if every one knows this but most people are only one accident or incident in our case from losing everything. The last month has been a struggle for us and still will be for many months as we attempt to get back to just being us. I know I speak for myself when I say this, but it is true.

Monday, June 06, 2016

How Much Are You Worth

How much are you worth? How much do you sell yourself out for?

I look down and ask myself how much am I worth on a regular basis.. right now, the average adult in southern Illinois is worth about $8.25 per hour.. thats minimum wage. some factory workers get paid between $14-16 per hour and an average wal mart employee makes $10 per hour.

Now this being said full time used to be considered 40 hours per week but ever since Obama and his "infinite Wisdom" created the medical reformation act, full time has now become 30 hours per week, which means not only do you get forced to buy insurance at an over priced rate but you also now earn a lot less money than you used to make. so that person that was originally making $330 per week is now making $247.50, that is $82.50 in lost wages per week or $4290 a year that has been lost.

now knowing this, a single person with one income makes about $990 before taxes and fica (social security which supposedly will run out before I get it, which is another story in itself) which ends up as being $721.77based on .
Now shall we add in costs of living? an average apartment in my town runs anywhere from about $400-$500 per month utilities from what I hear are similar as follows: average water starts at about $40-$60, electric about $175-$250, then there is food so look what has already been spent so far with even the cheapest 400+40+175=615 so lets hope you don't have a car payment or paying on anything else cause we still haven't included the cost of gas (locally $2.39 / gal when I wrote this), food, phone, consumables such as personal hygiene products, or anything like TV or Internet either oh and don't forget that insurance that is mandated by Obama. Right now as we are calculating you are seeing that this person working full time and is single only has $106.77 left from paying these bills.

now has any money been put back and saved at this point? probably not. By all rights we should be only paying out and living on 50% of our earnings or less, but as it turns out, the majority are living on about 75% or more.

So I ask you again, how much are you worth? you see this was just me trying to show you what average people around me are dealing with, how they struggle and how we as a community of people struggle daily to just exist. I myself am sick of just existing. I want to make more than that  little amount I quoted above, I am sick of being the man on the low end of the totem pole that every one craps on, on a regular basis. I know for a fact that I am not the only one that feels this way. But I tell you what in December of last year I met some people that gave me a small glimmer of hope, a star to steer by that I am trying to make work. Yes, it is hard work. Yes, you have to spend money to make money... But you know what? I see it working with so many people. I have met people over the last several months who have shown me so much that can come of this, and it is a way to escape from this living that isn't even a living. One man named Orrin Woodward call it the Matrix.. Its not hard to believe either because it does resemble it a lot.

So once more. HOW MUCH ARE YOU WORTH???
I know I am worth more than that $106 that was left over from those bills listed above, and so are you!

If you are interested to find out more information about what I am talking about, please feel free to contact me at 618.241.0328 or you can message me via hang outs or Google plus of even here by leaving a comment. I will get back with you I promises.

Write you again soon

Sunday, June 05, 2016

Needed view points

Last night we went to one of our monthly seminars and heard needed viewpoints that we was needing to hear, for it was the same issues that we are dealing with in a sorts.
Basically both Sandi and I have been struggling with voices in our heads. I didn't know what hers was saying but I do know what mine always says all the time.. "Failure", "idiot", "worthless piece of crap", "you will never amount to anything", "what, you expected anyone to love you?" "Freaking retard", " stupid reject".
These are the things I've been told most my life and have heard it so much that I believed them so when I feel like I have failed, that negative self talk is what I do.. At least I no longer physically take it out on myself like I used to, no do I try to cop out and try to commit suicide... So many times did I try and take my life because in my head no one cared.

Last night we both without knowing almost didn't go, but we were glad we did. Frank and Courtney Cox were speakers. And soo much was said from them that we both could associate with, both their stories of struggle I could associate with and have been almost ready to give up with our business.  I have been hurting and struggling all my life with a lot of baggage that I have, which has cone back to taunt me as of late, and is partially why I have quit writing again too. My head hasn't been on strait and was knocked down, but this time it wasn't just me, I was also dragging down everyone around me. I felt like I was on the Titanic and had no life raft. But after last night, I feel like I can get back up and go another 10 rounds. See I spotted Courtney outside the meeting room as we was waiting for the ticket holders meeting so I asked Sandi if she wanted to go and meet her while there wasn't people crowding her. She spotted us even though she was talking to some one else she looked up and started talking to Sandi, but she locked eyes with me as if she could see deep down inside me and said "Don't give up, we could have and then we wouldn't be able to be here, the business works, don't give up just don't give up.. It takes a while some times and people will say you're crazy but what ever you do, don't give up".. Later on I actually got to go up and talk to Frank Cox, I was nervous and couldn't say anything, i was teary eyed knowing we had some similar experiences and what did i muster up to say.... " Awesome!" as i reached out to shake his had... Boy dis i feel stupid.. That one moment I could have gleaned a personal nugget of information and I dropped the ball... Guess what I had to listen for the 2 hour ride home... Yup the negative self talk of how stupid I was for not saying more.. But i thing that he knew i was choked up, so he didn't say anything either other than the two words "thank you".

Looks like its almost time to clock into my 9-5
Write to you later,

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Have you a dream?

90% of people in the United States give up on their dreams by the time they are 28 years old.
It is something we are taught that if you work hard and long hours that we can have all we want and and that you need to finance your vacations and keep up with the neighbors and their toys.

Did you know that you don't have to keep up with the neighbors and you don't have to finance your vacations?

We as a society have forgotten how to dream, how to really dream. I too had forgotten what it was like to dream. In the last few months I have begun to dream again. This is because of some people I have recently met in December. I have now learned that there are ways to win your dreams and accomplish them.

1.) Be willing to bet on yourself.
2.) Lead your life instead of letting your life lead you.
3.) Love what you do and do what you love. (This one I have always heard)
4.) Don't compare yourself or your dreams to someone elses.
5.) Believe in your vision of the future even when no one else does.

Above all else, Don't let anyone make you believe it is not possible to accomplish your dreams.

Lies, Lies and more Lies

There are many excuses that we ot someone else tells us that crushes and kills our dreams, here are just a couple of them and the truth that can defeat them.

The first lie that crushes dreams is that "dreams don't come true for ordinary people.."

The truth is, you are not ordinary so of course your dream can come true.

The second lie most often told to crush dreams is that if your dream isn't big, that it isn't worth going after.

The truth is that your dream doesn't have to be big, it just has to be bigger than you. Meaning that it has to be big enough for you to just get out of your comfort zone and strive for more.

The third biggest lie told to crush your dreams is that now is not the time to follow your dreams.

The truth is that if you don't chase those dreams now, then you may never chase them and not make them come true.
In my opinion this is the one that crushes your dreams the worst because it is the one that makes you forget them altogether.

I had a dream at one time that I was going to travel and see the home of my ancestors in Scotland and Ireland. Did I do it? Not yet, but I plan to in the near future.

Until next time, God bless you.

Monday, May 09, 2016

Winds of change

Today I have had a bit of time to think and recollect, collect my thoughts on things a bit. I do this quite a bit when I'm doing other work such as working with my hands. Things come to my mind and things can focus a bit when I get out of that busy type of time that hits me when I'm at work and such. Just the simple business of people that break my thought pattern. Today I constructed steps onto the back porch, the ones that were there previous kinda became a death trap the last 2 weeks and was falling apart. just in time for a good friend to get ahold of me and ask if i needed a deck (Thanks Gary). So today I put the steps together and it has given me some time to think about things..

I started the day out by walking over and talking to the neighbor across the street. I never really talked to him before, he's a nice guy and seems more knowledgeable than he gives himself credit for. We had extra eggs so I took him 2 dozen. I didnt expect to get anything in return for this at all, but it gave me a chance to get to know him. Anyways I am getting distracted from my point.

Thinking can sometimes get me in trouble because I tend to over analyze things but i also work things out in my head to by turning it over and over and over in my head until i figure it out. I think it may have me on the right track on getting this elephant back up to where I need it.. but I will get back to you on that...

Have a great day.

Also, the photo in my back ground is from my back yard, just thought I would give ya a glimpse of the beauty around my life..

Sunday, May 08, 2016

elephant wrangling

Last night i had a realization, im thinking its because of an issue im having mentally right now, but my elephant is no longer in clear view... Let me explain this a little but better so that you May understand what i mean. The elephant represents my dreams and aspirations in life, it has been repressed for oh so many years through my brokenness and and relationships in the past.. I let my dreams go by the wayside all those many years in my past so my elephant has been hidden for a very long time. Over the last few weeks ive been reading a book that was for my mens leadership group that i participate in every month. There was some parts that messes with my personal beliefs and that is the part u think that has me messed up in my head, it has allowed my ant or conscious mind to stop me dead in my tracks thus blocking my elephant. My elephant is scared of the ant, so I'm guessing i just need to quash it and find a way around it.. My plan is that i need to make some smaller dreams and bring them to fruition and go from there..

Also as a side note I ran into one of our life coaches and company's founders Bill Lewis last night.. It was awesome getting to speak with him for those very few moments.


Thursday, April 07, 2016


We recently joined an endeavor called Life, to explain it simply, we deal with information and media... In being in Life we have made lasting relationships with some people,  and learning a lot about how life (not just the business but real and actual life) and how to get out of the bondage we have been in for so long.. And now we are heading towards freedom. Our products truly life changing. We have begun to see the world in a new light. I encourage you to check out our small video and if you believe you may be interested in it, please feel free to contact me in some form or another..

Click here for our site


Saturday, February 06, 2016

updates on me

Firstly, I appreciate all the prayers received during my rash of spiritual battle. I now have a health issue thats going on..
I spent the better part of yesterday in the Emergency Room, I somehow injured my knee and woke with it stiff Monday and worked on it Monday, Tuesday and Thursday and woke up yesterday not being able to put weigh on it.. I called Sandi to take me to the ER. they drained my knee and drew out what looked like and had the consistency of yellow mustard.. the tests they ran on it at the local hospital came back with nothing so they sent it off to some research lab to get more information. needless to say my knee is almost the same size that it was yesterday when they drained it..

We have gotten in on a business that is growing exponentially and would love to share it with you. check out the video and if you are interested, if you would like more information I would love to talk to you more about it.. or you can also contact me via hangouts at the same address.

Wednesday, January 06, 2016

Please pray for me, I'm under spiritual attack

Just another issue that comes my past. I was contacted by an old acquaintance that recently found that I became a Christian in the last few years.

I ask that you pray for me to have strength to fight this battle.

18 “Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.
19 “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 
20 For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”
Mat 18 : 18-20 NIV